Many people react negatively to seeing a member of their ethnic group with a member of another ethnic group. To play devil's advocate, let's claim the "what is one of our women/men doing with an outsider?" reaction is almost "natural". Hold your flames. I am NOT against interracial unions. I am just stating that it is not incomprehensible that people (of any race) might feel, rightly or wrongly, that they should stick with their own kind.

The strange thing is, for some whites, this negative reaction to interracial unions extends beyond white/non-white couples. For example, I had a conversation with a man who was 3/4 white and 1/4 Amerindian. He is very proud of his heritage. He looks white. He remarks that his siblings look more Indian. I mentioned that I had a friend who was 1/8 Indian. He asked, "So what does she look like?"

I said she looks more like her father's family, and the Indian blood is from her mother's side. As I described my friend, it became apparent to this guy that my part-Indian friend is also black. He suddenly became silent and appeared uncomfortable.

I was somewhat surprised at this response because he was so enthusiastic about this topic just a moment ago. I could only surmise that he was uncomfortable with the idea of a black-Indian hybrid, and by extension, unions between blacks and Indians. This is ironic because he himself is a white-Indian mix, so why should he not be as excited about a black-Indian mix?

If there had only been one such incident, it would not have registered with me. But since then I've encountered multiple incidents like this. For example, I hear whites say stuff like, "It is strange to see a black man with an Asian woman," but the same whites NEVER say, "It is weird to see a white man with an Asian woman." In fact, some of the white men who make these remarks date Asian women themselves. So why do they regard themselves differently from those black men who date Asians?

I have not personally witnessed it, but I have heard of black-Asian couples encountering more explicit forms of white disapproval. This disapproval is incomprehensible to me because what has a black man-Asian woman couple got to do with white people anyway? Nothing! The 'purity' of the European bloodline is not at stake here. The 'usual' excuse of "We disapprove of this couple because the white person is not sticking with us" clearly cannot apply in this case. So what could be the reasoning behind these whites who disapprove of black-Asian or black-Amerindian couples?

This is why I read with interest the comment "the yellow woman is considered the white man's exclusive toy, and he is not willing to share this toy with other men of any color" in this site's review of The Art of War. So by inference, some so-called open-minded whites who "approve" of interracial unions really only approve of specific interracial combinations that suit their sexual fantasies? That article has shed light on some of the questions I had been asking.

I have often wondered at the reactions of white people to certain interracial couples. I did notice white men who seemed uncomfortable with the idea of white women dating Asian men. The interesting thing is, some of these same white men date Asian women.

For example, a white boy J. was excited telling me about the movie Romeo Must Die. He said there was one scene he found hilarious - the part where Jet Li unmasks an assassin and exclaims, "You're Chinese!", to which the lady assassin replies, "No shit!". Now I knew some things he didn't because I have many friends from Hong Kong who fill me in on Hong Kong movies and actors. The actress who played the lady assassin in Romeo Must Die is Francoise Yip, daughter of a Chinese Canadian man and a French Canadian woman. I thought it was amusing (not in a derogatory way) that she plays the "quintessential" Chinese in that particular scene in Romeo Must Die. So I thought I'd share this detail with the white boy J., thinking it would enhance the joke he already apparently enjoyed so much. I said, "Actually, that Chinese actress is half-French, her mother is French." Instantly, the smile receded from his face and he fell into silence. He is usually such a garrulous talker who likes to go on and on about how much he "loves international people". I was surprised at his sudden change in attitude. I can only surmise that he was bothered by the thought that a white woman had made a child with a yellow man, a fact of which this biracial actress was the living proof. The odd thing is, J himself at that time had a Chinese woman as sex partner/girlfriend. It is typical that white men want to enjoy the bodies of yellow women, but do not want yellow men to date white women.

I also suspect some white men who like Asian women are displeased to see non-white men being with Asian women (even in a movie) because they cannot identify with the male character. Like the article posted on your site said, they considered the yellow woman their exclusive toy which they will not share with other men. At the same time, they don't like to see white women being with other men because they still consider white women their property.

This double standard in interracial dating is something that we should be ashamed of holding. If we are going to pretend to be "open-minded" and "love diversity", while in reality encouraging only the kind of interracial unions that suit our stereotypes and exotic fantasies (or at least not threaten our fantasies), I think we are better off not having interracial unions at all. Again, I repeat I am NOT against interracial couples. I just believe that white men (or anyone for that matter) who pass themselves off as "racially open-minded" when they really just want an "exotic" partner do greater disservice to interracial relations than those who don't date interracially.

D.F.